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2019年5月27日 星期一

吃苦与孩子的教育

我们除了自己努力,也要把后代教育好。就我自己的经历而言,我觉得一个人后面走的道路,和家庭教育有直接关系。我主要受我妈的影响,以前生活很苦,她自己也没读过书;从我有记忆,她就灌输我一定要好好读书、通过读书改变命运的道理;同时也在家教上很严格,待人接物礼节方面,比如少吃或不吃零食,客人拿来的东西未经家长准许不准动,到人家家里做客要讲规矩,大人没坐好吃饭,小孩子不能先夹菜吃。


我觉得小孩子就像树苗,如果从小长弯了,后来想再弄直就不容易,甚至不可能。


我们现在生活好了一些,但也忙了很多,陪孩子的时间少了不少。现在物质条件好了,也更容易把孩子惯坏。

我从小学开始到大学,每个暑假回去都帮家里干农活,最辛苦的是到板栗园去,接近武汉四十度的夏天正午,穿着秋天的厚外套、戴手套、穿袜子、戴帽子,汗如雨下地在山林里拿镰刀砍杂树,弯着腰,往往从早上五六点干到中午12点或者下午三四点。早饭就吃方便面,衣服湿透了时常直接拧出水来,山上还有很多毒蛇、马蜂、超级臭虫、洋辣子、过敏植物等等;我严重过敏过、被马蜂蜇过,也中暑过。

放牛、担水、插秧、播种、喂猪、打猪草、种菜、收割等农活儿我都干过。就像割稻子在我手指上留下了几个刀痕一样,这些经历,也在我的思想上留下了刻痕。

每次在农村干活“吃苦”,我都在内心说一定要好好读书走出去。记得大学的通知书就是一个夏天正午我在山上,我妈送饭的时候带给我的。

2019年5月21日 星期二

铜臭与秃鹫

一个校友好心,拉我到了一个海外校友群。进去后,分分钟被一两个校友勾搭,半开玩笑半当真地说要贷款赵XX姐;另一个要拉我进一个羽毛球群。

这两个群都具有非常典型的代表性,一个是充满了一些追铜逐臭的人,它们仿佛秃鹫一般随时吸嗅着腐肉的气息,一旦发现可能的目标就扑将过去。

但洒家可不是腐肉,洒家是一坨桀骜不驯的老鲜肉。老鲜肉会稍等两日,在这个群里看看有没有不是那么铜臭逼人值得交往的校友,然后就退出。

另一个运动群,也是就问了声我的爱好,没有再征得我同意,就直接了拉入群里,入群也不必被拉者同意,这简直是半强奸吧。这种群里也多是中年晚期或已入老年的人们,仿佛除了保存锻炼肉体延长肉命就在没有其他更高追求。

其实洒家也是中老年人类,但洒家申明了洒家对羽毛球和乒乓球都是门外汉,而且多年没碰,这另一种秃鹫直接就将洒家拉将进去,这是饥渴到什么程度了啊。

洒家现在日理万机,干活当锻炼,哪里还有闲空去跟他们一帮中年晚期老年初期的养生人群玩儿?再说,就凭这种扑面而来的铜臭和秃鹫气息,哪里可能吸引洒家这样的人进去?洒家不是被熏死就是被气死。

但是对于中年晚期老年初期的人们,你再去跟他们谈什么现代文明的社交礼仪和人生追求,就像跟一个病入膏肓的人谈养生一样。

真的,微信这个虚拟社区的言谈举止也无不透露出人们的修养见识、人生境界,或者说是所谓的“三观”。

道不同不相与谋。走为上策。

就让我们在各自的道路上渐行渐远渐无影吧。沙扬娜拉!

附:人不是不可以铜臭,但须得体面地追逐铜臭。人也不是不可以做秃鹫,但须得知道鹫亦有道。

2019年5月17日 星期五

On the film FOUR SPRINGS【《四个春天》影评】

Just watched Four Springs by LU Qingyi. Deeply touched and moved to tears a couple of times. It is about family, parents, siblings, the beautiful bygone days, the far and remote hometown, and all things and people both close to and far away from us. It is actually about departure, departing from all our nearest and dearest no matter how bitter it is.
刚看了陆庆屹的《四个春天》。十分动容,几次落泪。这电影是关于家庭、父母、兄弟姐妹、美好往昔、遥远偏僻的家乡、以及远离我们的所有事物和人。它实际上是关于离别的;虽然至为痛苦,也不得不别离我们所有最亲近的人。

It pains to bid farewell to things and beings so dear to us, but you have no other choice rather than to face it. We are all bound to part with all we have and it is just a matter of time. Parting will gnaw and consume our heart and bend our soul, but after parting we have to fare forward with all the bitterness. We even need to be cheerful, just like the mom and dad in the film who start to grow vegetables, to sing and dance besides their daughter's grave after the second spring of her departure. We can't help feeling woeful for the departure of the loved, but the loved would have wanted us to be cheerful.
告别对于我们如此珍贵的事物和生命是痛苦的,但除了直面之外别无选择。我们所有人都必须分开,这是迟早的问题。分手会啃噬和消损我们的内心、压弯我们的灵魂,但在分手之后,我们必须负苦前行。我们甚至需要开朗地继续生活,就像电影中的妈妈和爸爸一样,在女儿离开的第二个春天之后,他们就开始在她的坟旁种植蔬菜,唱歌和跳舞。我们不禁为我们爱的人的离去哀伤,但我们爱的人却希望我们欢欣。

Life consits of many chapters. When one chapter has to be turned over, we cannot choose to linger, but we can choose to remember what we have read and felt. It is not that we forget the past or betray it; instead, we have digested the past and live with it in peace. The past has become part of us.
生活包括许多章节。当一个章节必须翻过时,我们不能选择原地不动,但我们可以选择记住我们所看过、感受过的东西。这不意味着我们忘记过去或背叛它;相反,我们已消化过去,并与它和平地生活在一起。过去已成为我们的一部分。

The director LU Qingyi is an ordinary person made of extraordinary material, for he kept recording even when his elder sister was suffering hellish sickness in hospital and still did not cease recording when his lovely and lively sister ceased to be lovely and lively. I know his heart was broken and his soul was torn at those moments. I can feel that from numerous melancholy subtle moments throughout the film. But he persevered and proceeded with life, and finally, he prospered.
导演陆庆义是一个用非凡材料制作普通人,因为当他姐姐在医院患病无比痛苦时,他仍在记录,当他可爱活泼的姐姐不再活泼可爱时,他仍然没有停止记录。我知道他已心碎,他灵魂四裂。我可以从影片中无数忧伤而微妙的时刻感受到这一点。但他坚忍秉持,继续生活,最后,他兴盛了。

By prosper, I donot mean he made a great wealth--maybe he did do that. I mean he reached a comprise and coexistence with his past and intergreted it into his present and imprint it on his future. Yes, this is what I mean: He married his past with his present and engage it with his future.  His life is becoming complete and consummate. I cannot use the abused vague word happiness. Mr. LU made it but he may not be happy. There is nothing wrong with not being happy. Fullness and fulfillment are more important than happiness.
所谓兴盛,不是说他赚了大钱 - -也许他确实赚了大钱。我是指他与他的过去达成了一个和解与共存,并将过去融入当下、印在未来上。是的,这就是我的意思:他把过去嫁给现在,又将过去许给未来。他的生活变得完善和臻美。我不想用被用滥了的幸福这个词。陆先生成功了,但他可能并不感到幸福。不感到幸福没有错。完善和践行比幸福更重要。

Mr. LU'a aim is higher and his ambition is greater.  I can see the connection between Mr. LU and his family. He inherited invaluable spiritual wealth from his father, his mother, his sister and brother. He sucked sufficient nutrition from his brithplace. Those are pure natural flour and yeast, which interact with his present and produces premium bread that will nurish his and many of his audience's future. It also spurs his audiences, at least including me, to re-examine and chew my past and present, and then better plan my future.
陆先生目标高远。我看到了陆先生和他的家人之间的纽带。他从父亲、母亲、姐姐和兄弟那里继承了无价精神财富。他从他的兄弟姐妹那里吸取了足够的营养。这些是纯天然面粉和酵母,与他的现在相互作用,产出了上好的面包,可以滋养他和他的许多观众的未来。它还激励他的观众——至少包括我,重新审视和咀嚼我的过去和现在,然后更好地规划未来。

Mr LU's parents are admirable and respectable. They are decent insignificant people who are far more significant than those unusual somebodies, who produce no empathy within ordinary audiences like me. They are also more real, happy and full than the latter, becasue they are the overwhelming majority of our world.
陆先生的父母是令人钦佩和尊敬的。他们是体面的普通人,他们比那些不寻常的要人更重要,要人无法是我这样的普通观众感到共鸣。陆先生父母也比要人更真实、快乐和充实,因为他们是我们世界的绝大多数。

The parents are admirable and respectable not just because of this. Their attitude toward life, toward each other, toward other family members, toward other fellow creatures and toward all around them is decent, respectable and admirable. There is a tranquil, peaceful but deep and powerful  river flowing deep inside them. The river is full of pure water and lively fishes of life. They are gentle, kind and interesting creatures. Gentle, kind and interesting creatures delight in each other and engender more similar creatures. This may be a little overgeneralizing and idealizing; however, the merits and virtues radiated by people like the parents suffice to earn them sufficient admiration, respect and love.
他的父母是令人钦佩和尊敬的,不仅是因这一点。他们对待生活、对彼此、对待其他家庭成员、对待其他同伴以及周围所有人的态度是体面、可敬和可钦的。他们内心有一条宁静祥和但又深邃而强大的河流。这条河充满了纯净的流水和生动活泼的鱼儿。他们是温柔、善良和有趣的生物。温柔、善良和有趣的生物彼此喜欢并滋生更多同类生物。这样说可能有点过于概括和理想化; 然而,像陆父陆母一样的人所散发的优点和美德,足以让​​他们获得足够的钦佩、尊重和爱戴。

This is not just a film for parents and family. This is a film for all who are in diaspera and may be struggling between the past, the present and the future.
这不仅仅是献给父母和家人的电影。这部电影也是献给所有身处异乡的人,这些人可能在过去、现在和未来之间挣扎。

This is a film that hurts. This is also a film that cures. This is the very feature of love.
这部电影看起来令人心痛。这部电影也能治愈。而这,正是爱的特征。